Let’s just name the elephant in the room. Getting a big extended family to cooperate for photos can feel a little like herding cats. Cats who are hungry, slightly annoyed, and definitely did not agree to wear the outfit you picked out for them.

You’ve got a toddler who has decided today is the day to test gravity by throwing themselves backward every five seconds. A teenager who would rather be literally anywhere else. And grandpa, bless him, who “doesn’t really do photos” but is going to do this one because you asked nicely four times.

Here’s the good news. After photographing families of every size and combination, at both weddings and family portrait sessions, I’ve learned that cooperation isn’t really about getting everyone to behave. It’s about setting things up so good moments happen naturally, instead of forcing everyone into stiff poses and hoping for the best. I’ve collected lots of family photo tips over the last 16 years of documenting all ages!

Let’s break this down by who you’re working with, because a toddler and a grandparent might need very different approaches.

Babies and Toddlers

Little ones don’t really understand what’s happening, but they can pick up on your stress level as the parent. If you’re nervous and frantic, they’ll feel that. The more you can off load the worry of “getting them to smile” onto me, and you just get to be in the moment with them, the better. 

 Don’t expect them to look at the camera and smile on command. Instead, give them something real to react to.

Bring a favorite toy,tickle them right before the shot, or just let them wander and explore while we capture it candidly. Some of the best photos of little ones happen when nobody is asking them to do anything at all.

Time of day matters a lot here too. Plan around nap schedules instead of fighting them. A well rested toddler who isn’t starving is going to give you so much more than an overtired one who’s already past the breaking point.

And snacks. Always bring snacks!

Kids and Tweens

This age group usually wants to cooperate, they just get bored fast. The trick is keeping things moving and giving them small jobs or moments of fun in between the more posed shots.

Let them run around for a minute before we line everyone up. Give them a little competition, like seeing who can make the silliest face or jump the highest. Kids tend to relax once they realize this isn’t going to be an hour of standing still and smiling on command.

Also, lower your expectations for perfectly placed hair and tucked in shirts. The slightly messy, real version of your kid is the one you’re going to want to remember anyway.

Teenagers

Ah, teenagers. The group most likely to roll their eyes the moment a camera comes out.

Honestly, the best approach here is to not make a big deal out of it. The more we treat the session like a big important production, the more resistance you’re going to get. Keep things low pressure, give them clear expectations ahead of time about how long this will actually take, and consider letting them have some say in at least one part of it, even something small like which jacket they wear.

A lot of teens actually loosen up once they see their parents and grandparents being a little goofy too. Nobody wants to be the only one trying.

Parents and Adult Siblings

This group is usually pretty easy, but they’re also the ones managing everyone else’s stress, which means they show up already a little tense. If you’re the one organizing this whole thing, give yourself permission to let go of perfection. The day will go more smoothly if you’re not also trying to control every variable.

One thing that helps a lot on wedding days is deciding ahead of time who is going to gently herd people into position. It doesn’t need to be the photographer giving every instruction. Having one designated person who knows the family but won’t necessarily be in every photo that can say “okay, cousins, you’re up” keeps things moving without it feeling like a drill sergeant situation.

Grandparents and Older Family Members

Grandparents often show up a little nervous about photos, especially if it’s been a while since their last professional session. The best thing you can do here is keep the pace relaxed and give them plenty of breaks if the session is on the longer side.

Comfortable seating nearby makes a huge difference, even if it’s just a low wall or a blanket on the ground. Standing for long stretches is hard on a lot of older joints, and a tired, achy grandparent is not going to give you a relaxed smile.

Also, don’t underestimate the power of just letting them interact naturally with the grandkids instead of posing them. Some of my favorite photos from big family sessions are completely unplanned moments between grandparents and grandkids that happened while we were technically setting up the “real” shot.

family photo tips That Make a Huge Difference

Beyond the age specific stuff, a few practical things tend to make or break how smoothly the whole day goes.

Keep the big group portions short. Nobody, especially kids and grandparents, has unlimited patience for standing in formation. I like to knock out the large group combinations early while everyone still has energy, then move into smaller groupings and candid moments after.

Build in an activity, not just poses. Some of the most relaxed, genuine photos happen when people are actually doing something together instead of just standing and smiling. A water balloon fight, blowing bubbles, baking cookies together in the kitchen, tossing a frisbee, even just walking and talking. Give everyone something to actually do and the posing pressure disappears. People stop thinking about the camera and just start being a family, which is exactly the kind of photo you’ll want to look back on.

You can even make the whole session about some sort of wild adventurous activity like this family did, for their color war on the beach!

Build in breaks. Even a five minute pause to let people get water or let the baby nurse can completely reset the mood for the rest of the session.

Pick a location that matches your group’s needs. If you’ve got family members who tire easily or have mobility concerns, choose somewhere flat and close to parking instead of somewhere gorgeous but a quarter mile uphill. I actually put together a whole list of Oregon locations that work well for big groups if you want some ideas.

Pick a time of day when everyone is happiest. Despite the best light in the middle of summer will likely be the hour before sunset, that might be the witching hour for lil toddlers. Happy kiddos is preferable to golden light. You can look up the sunset time on any date here.

Communicate the plan ahead of time. A quick text to the family group chat the day before with the time, location, and a reminder about outfits saves you so much stress in the moment. Nobody likes finding out the plan five minutes before it’s supposed to start.

Hire someone who’s done this before. This isn’t me tooting my own horn, I promise. But a photographer who has experience specifically with big, multi generational groups is going to know how to keep things moving, how to read the room when someone’s getting cranky, and how to capture the real moments instead of just checking boxes. It makes a genuinely huge difference in how the day feels.

The Real Goal Isn’t Perfect Behavior

Here’s the thing I wish more families knew going into a big session like this. The goal isn’t to get fifteen people to behave perfectly for sixty straight minutes. The goal is to create a handful of moments, some posed and some completely candid, that actually capture what your family feels like together.

The slightly chaotic, real version of your family is so much more valuable than a stiff, perfectly composed one where everyone is internally counting down the seconds until it’s over.

So give yourself grace going into this. Expect a little bit of chaos. And know that in between moments, the laughing, the bribing toddlers with crackers, the grandkids sneaking up on grandpa, those are usually the photos everyone ends up loving the most anyway.

If you’re getting ready to plan your own extended family session and want help thinking through timing, locations, or just want someone who’s genuinely good at managing a big group with a sense of humor, I’d love to help make the day feel easy instead of stressful. If these family photo tips have been helpful, reach out and let’s chat.